I see parenting in general, and specifically my parents, in a whole different light now that I am a parent. I often think about my parents--where they were at and what they were doing--when they got pregnant with and had me, their first child together. I wish I could see them then and have more memories of us when I was little. I know it was hard for them, and I so appreciate their perseverance and resilience. I remember living in the trailer park near Canyon Park. Playing in Coal Creek, my dad teaching me to ride a bike, my mom trying to make me eat tunafish. We went to the Old Rock Church and my dad always jokes about how the only time he ever had to push me to go to church was in the stroller haha :) Like most first time parents, I'm sure they had no idea what they were doing, but they made it work, and I think I turned out just fine! ;)
When people ask me the most valuable lesson I learned growing up, I usually say hard work. I watched my parents both work so hard. They were my inspiration as coaches and teachers. My mom had three jobs. My dad worked on the mountain in the summer and went to college during the school year. I remember my first time working with him on the mountain building fence. I was probably about ten years old and I remember thinking, holy crap, how does he do this all day every day?! We were lugging trees up a huge hill and loading them into the truck. I realized that's how he was so buff haha! Every day he works up there he has a "safety lesson" where he reads the thought of the day from President Gordon B. Hinckley's Stand a Little Taller book. He knows God will protect him and all his workers if they start their day with that and a prayer.
I cannot even imagine going to college with three kids! It was hard enough with no kids! Good thing he had me to help him write his papers ;) But my dad pushed through and I remember the day he graduated. I was SO proud. I remember him staying up late studying for hours for the Math Teaching Praxis test. I lost count of how many times he had to take it before he finally passed, but he just kept right on trying until he did. Now, I had to take that test, so I understand how hard it was ha :)
I'm not an addict, so I can't relate as well to it, but I am pretty sure overcoming addiction is one of the hardest things one could have to do. I watched my dad go to 12 step class every week. Sometimes I would go with. It always made me proud of him. He always had a testimony of Christ and the Atonement. And he used it. The strength that it takes every single day is unbelievable, but he has it. And he shares it with others. He uses his experience to help them.
Funny that I thought I would be able to write this without crying.
Having a highway patrolman walk up to you at a wrestling and tell you your wife of 19 years had been in an accident. Then going and telling your two kids that were there with you.
Having to calling your teenage daughter on the phone and tell her her mom is gone.
Having to plan a funeral for someone you thought would be planning yours.
Having to parent three kids on your own when you've always had a partner to help you do it.
Having to figure out how to comfort them when you have no idea how to even comfort yourself...
Having to go through every other hard thing about losing a spouse. I cannot even imagine. I often think about how that would probably be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, in my opinion. I lived in the basement my senior year, and I would hear my dad walking around upstairs in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep. I would cry for him and my heart still breaks for him. He started dating and that was hard after not doing it for 20 years! But he showed so much faith, and because of that, my mom and God helped him find the perfect person to marry and be his companion for the rest of this life. Because being alone...HARD.
After all of that, blending a family is still freaking difficult. We all still sometimes struggle with things not being how they used to be, even though it's been almost six years! My heart goes out to everyone who is a stepparent and who has brought two families together. Parenting your own kids is hard enough, but figuring out how to parent another person's kids with them and love them as your own is the work of angels! It takes a lot of humility, love, and patience. Thank goodness my dad and stepmom both have those qualities! And they get to practice them every day ;)
My dad lost his dad a couple years after he lost my mom and I know that was really hard on him. He looked up to his dad so much and still misses him a lot. But he always says how he now has these two angels looking out for him and helping him through.
He teaches and coaches high school kids in the way that Jesus Christ himself would. A lot of these kids struggle. They've had rough childhoods. Their parents may or may not be in the picture. Then he has his own wayward children to deal with. But my dad parents them. All of them. I've watched him teach and coach and be a dad and it literally brings tears to my eyes because I feel the love he has for them pouring out. I wonder how he does it, and I hope someday I know, because I want to do it. I have wanted to be just like him ever since I can remember. And I will be happy if I'm half the teacher/coach/parent that he is.
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