Change

Sitting in church today I thought about how amazing it is that we can change. Some of us hate it. Because changing is hard, of course, or else I wouldn't be writing about it. :) But if you really think about it, being able to change is a huge blessing. What if we had to always remain?.. Yikes!... Progression and change bring happiness. Progression and change in ourselves brings happiness.

I've learned the hard way that I can't change other people. I've also learned that as I change, those around me often do too. For example, I love a clean house. It makes me so so happy to have everything in order. Now first let me say how I have an amazing husband who will do anything for me and loves me more than I could ever even hope for. He is perfect for me and I am so thankful for him! Now, for the past year I have been hoping that Scott will change and also love a clean house like I do. That he will automatically do the dishes or put his clothes away (he's got taking out the trash down pretty well;). Well, hoping for that change and trying to force it got really discouraging. Finally, I realized that I need to be the one to change. As I continued to think about it, I needed to make a lot of changes in order to bring the most happiness to me and my family. It was so overwhelming. I knew it was going to be hard. 

I am still a nagging wife, and I may always be. But, over the past couple months I have learned and grown so much. I take it day by day and do small things like kindly expressing my thoughts and feelings, letting the things go that really don't matter, thinking before I speak or act, and, most importantly, praying. Every night I've pleaded for help from my Heavenly Father. I know my Savior had to overcome my weaknesses, and I know that He will always be right by my side as I strive to overcome them as well. (Yes, I have tons more besides the clean house thing!)

It is because of Jesus Christ and His Atonement that we can change. Whether it be diet or a bad habit or negative attitude or nagging. Because He's been there, we are allowed to change and repent. I honestly don't know what I would do without that. Every night I get on my knees to pray and know I made mistakes. So every night I thank God that He sent His Son to pay for those mistakes and make it possible for me to fix them then next day. Then I ask for help to fix them and commit to doing my best. That is all He asks of us. Our best efforts. So, yes, changing is hard. But when you have to do it, I encourage you to think about how you even get to do it, and that can make it a little easier.

12

Scott and I just celebrated our first anniversary! It was so great. We went to Moab and camped, biked, and hiked. I can't believe it's been a year already--12 months! Time flies when you're having fun, right? Really though, I have had the most fun of my whole life in the past year with Scott. I've done things I never thought I would be able to do. However, I'm not gonna lie. Amidst all the fun, there have been hard times. Marriage is a huge learning experience! (Especially when you only dated for 5 months) haha ;) So, I think it's really important to find fun things that you love, to make up for hard things, because you know the good always outweighs the not good.

One example. Scott's job is so hard. Like so hard. I honestly have no idea how he does it, but I am so grateful he does. He is already such a good provider! He works 12 hours a day basically every day of the summer--April to August. He knocks on doors in the heat and humidity, selling pest control to strangers that soon become friends. He's done that for three years now. Last summer we were dating and it was so hard to be apart. This summer we saw each other for like one hour per day, which was when he got home and ate dinner then went to bed. So, it wasn't only hard for him, but it was hard for me to not spend time with him!

However, the company he works for, Moxie, is incredible. Their culture and values make us proud to be a part of something so great. Every night I thanked my Father in Heaven for the amazing people we got to work with. Both of us improved as people and learned skills that will benefit us for the rest of our lives. I would recommend Moxie to anyone who wants to be successful in the future. Plus, amidst all the hard, we did some really fun things! Even though Scott worked his butt off all week, when it came to Saturday night, there was always something fun for us to do, even if it was just a nice restaurant :) When you work hard and do your best and reach your goals, there are often really great rewards.

So, I know this is kind of all over the place. But basically, make time for fun among hard times, and work through them to reach your goals. I promise you won't regret it :)

Sky Diving

Last weekend we got to go indoor skydiving! It was so neat. There were about 15 of us and it was a completely new thing to everyone. We had no idea what we were doing and to be honest, we all kinda sucked at first. But, we had a talented instructor who taught us the safety tips, rules, and hand signals. He held us up in the shoot until we had the right body position to be able to fly on our own. He let us bump into walls sometimes so we could learn how to push off. And if we were about to be in trouble he would reach in and help out. Skydiving is a strength of his and was a weakness for most of us that first time.

This got me thinking about all my weaknesses I've been made aware of over the past year or so. It's not easy swallowing our pride and admitting that we are weak. However, God has given us weaknesses so we can be made strong. He tell us in the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ similar to the Bible: And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

The closer we get to God, the more we realize our weaknesses. But, I love where it says his grace is sufficient. I have soooo many things I need to work on. I can't become strong on my own. I have to use God's grace. I have to use the Atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ to help me get there. It is a process. It's hard. It won't happen overnight. But He is constantly reaching out for us as we reach out for Him. Just like our skydiving instructor who wouldn't let us bash our face on the wall, our Father in Heaven and His Son will not let us fall.

...because of Him, and all He did and all He was and is, we too can triumph.

We also can overcome. We can live abundantly in the midst of trials.

If we choose to behold Him and accept and apply His saving gospel, He will save us.

He will rescue us from the effects of our own fallen natures and foibles, and He will save us from sin, from spiritual mediocrity, and from ultimate, eternal failure. 

He will purge, refine, beautify, and eventually even perfect us.

He will give us joy and peace. He is the key to abundant life.

(Elder L. Whitney Clayton)

Transitions

This year in school I had classes where I got to go to elementary and junior high schools to teach PE. Before we taught we had to create a lesson plan with the different aspects of a lesson such as warm up, fitness, focus, and closure. The hardest part of executing our lesson plan was the transitions in between these aspects. We had to consider the equipment used, the formations we needed the students to be in, creating teams, and the actually instruction and demonstration of skills. I did not master the transitions and have a long ways to go before I get it down, but each lesson I taught had improvement. Lately I've been thinking about how this ability to transition smoothly is applicable to life in general.

The semester ended in April, and almost immediately after finals Scott and I drove out to Kansas City, where we are working for the summer. Leading up to this transition I was freaking out about leaving everything behind (the stress of finals wasn't helping), even if it was only for four months. When we got here I couldn't believe that it actually happened. I left my family, friends, school, car, and job back in Utah, and here I was in Kansas with nothing but my husband and a job. It was scary. And hard.

What has really helped me in this transition is focusing on all the great things about it, rather than all the unfortunate parts. Rather than thinking about how I'm not around all my family, I think about I get this time to focus and build my marriage without outside influence from anyone. Rather than thinking about how none of my friends came out here with us, I remember that I am making new friends and lasting relationships. Rather than thinking about how I'm not at the math lab doing what I already know how to do, I think about how I am learning so many new skills that will help me in my future. Rather than thinking about how I could be taking classes, I think about how great it will be to not have debt after college because we worked hard in the summers.

Making transitions in life is something that is inevitable really. But one way we can deal with it is to think about the things that are still there that we appreciate, even among all the changes. I'm still K'Loni. I still have my same hobbies and talents and get to build those. The same people still love me and I love them. All this really is is an opportunity to grow.

I am still a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who sent me here and give me amazing experiences so I can learn and grow and become more like Him. Try to at least remember that when you are going through a hard transition.